If you want to improve your relationship-building skills, this strategy will help you enhance them.

Let's say you walk into the office one fine morning and notice your colleague Lisa looking distressed. If you wish her and move on to your desk, hoping she feels better soon, you will have lost an opportunity to build your relationship with Lisa.

On the other hand, you take a moment to stop and tell her what you noticed and ask her what is wrong. She may open up, telling you that her car got stowed away in the morning. She is worried about sharing this with her husband and is feeling distressed.

Listening to Lisa is an opportunity to acknowledge her feelings. Even if you cannot offer her help, the small act of giving her attention shows that you care about people.

Everyone has a right to experience feelings, even if you do not feel the same way. Emotional intelligence is about having the ability to show respect for those emotions without ignoring or dismissing them. 

Once Lisa has calmed down, she will appreciate you for listening to her, and you will have established a better connection with her.  

Why Acknowledge Emotions

Many of us have been brought up in a world where our emotions are often dismissed. As young children, if we expressed sadness, we were told to stop crying. Rarely have we been encouraged to communicate and share our true feelings.

So we grow up feeling judged when we express our negative emotions, and the natural tendency for many of us is to try to hide them, especially in the workplace. 

Over time we begin feeling internal stress and frustration at not being transparent about how we feel. The pressure within us builds up till we reach the bursting point.

On the other hand, have you noticed that when you express how you are feeling about something, you experience a sense of relief vs when you constantly suppress it? 

This is a key reason why giving space to someone to express how they are feeling without judging them, is the most powerful act of relationship building. It helps people to release their internal pressure. 

They feel heard and valued by you. They gain clarity and even find solutions to their problems, once the pressure is eased.

Little Acts

Often when we think of building and sustaining relationships, we imagine that it is based on chunks of investment of time and energy. While it is true that building long-term relationships takes work, we cannot ignore the power of small actions as well.

Little acts like listening to someone go a long way in securing our bond and trust with a person. Over time we will find that people begin gravitating toward us.

Conclusion

Relationships are a crucial and fulfilling part of life. As Travis Bradberry and Jean Greaves authors of Emotional Intelligence 2.0 say “ Since you are half of any relationship, you have half of the responsibility of deepening these connections”.